Writing From My Heart | What Makes Beauty…. Perfect

music-makes-me-happy-by-plastickheart

I guess looking at my blog these past few days I have been all about fashion and the external appearance  – don’t get me wrong I am a definite slight princess who likes to look her best most of the time, and puts the effort in to do so. (ummm well not all true as like most single girls, I get home wash my face, maybe add a facemask which makes me look like I could star in the new “IT” movie,  put that hair in a top bun -MESSY – and grab my comfiest outfit which is most often the most hideous of all my clothing .)

Anyway, I guess I felt I needed to blog about something heartfelt as I never want this blog to be all about the superficial – it’s a blog from the heart of the girl next door.

As I dive headfirst into the deep end of the last part of my 35th year I have had the most amazing realisation, slightly late and not “on trend” as I have begun to appreciate and accept my external looks for what they are  – a blessing from God. Nope I don’t think I am a supermodel, nor do I think I am beautiful and I certainly wake up looking like a troll from the 1980’s. However I was blessed with a pretty face, a good body and most importantly a gentle heart, and these are things one should never take for granted. Don’t get me wrong I will still be posting about and testing all those things I love but not to be happy, I am happy …. as me… I just have a bit of a love for fashion and beauty – but it no longer defines me.

large

This epiphany as I mentioned, comes not “on trend” as more and more “solutions | surgeries | products and cosmetic surgery” have been introduced to the market in order to …. perfect oneself. I notice this just from the fact that people used to ask me all the time who ‘had done’ my lips as they are full, my retort “God” and now they are the norm if not thinner than others, they go unnoticed as lip fillers are top of the charts on every aesthetic booking list and then we go from hand fillers (yip hand fillers) to fish hook facials, to injections everywhere; ones that fill this hole and others that empty that sag bag, to facial therapies which leave you with skin like a baby and nose jobs and lip jobs and boob jobs and calf implants and and and well you can have every hair on your body removed permanently whilst having permanent make-up applied so you look like you have just stepped out of a MAC store when you open your eyes, a body is not good enough being just muscular and fit as well… in this society one can have a PERFECT body not just a great body …. let’s be honest; not only do you need to be Rockefeller or married to his offspring but you have to spend your life at a beauty salon or surgeon as most of these “treatments” do not last longer than a few months so it’s an endless cycle of looking perfect, whilst maintaining this perfectionism only to have to reperfect yourself – vicious circle? Just the thought exhausts me. Don’t get me wrong if I had nothing else to do and an endless trust fund I guess I could get used to that type of life BUT then maybe not…

Not only are the thoughts of what all these procedures may look like in twenty years, as we have yet to see the long term side effects … think cat woman xxxx 10000 or a collapsed face, but how happy can you be if you are always striving for a perfect which can always be more perfect? Why not accept your perfect … each and every person is beautiful and enough and perfect as they are and yes  a few little odd jobs done here and there for major complexes are completely understandable but stop there and accept that YOU, that beautiful perfect YOU.

heart-surgeon-clipart-15

If experts spent as much time researching, developing and testing treatments to enhance and improve inner personality traits and qualities –  gratitude, love, patience, kindness, joy, faithfulness a  giving heart – and people spent as much time and money acquiring these traits and working on them as hard as they do on being that external perfect,  how much more beautiful would this world be?

Would a young chubby, shy girl still be sitting at home crying right now, as she gets no “likes” on her IG page but rather horrible comments? And then would she sob a little more as she knows that the girls at school will still make fun of her as she has not enough money for spray tans and the latest adidas sneakers, when they do not know it is because her father walked out on the family and her mom can barely pay her school fees even though she works two jobs? That can’t exactly be your IG bio right? Unfollow, Block? Who is a fan of a person with no external value??? NOT US BAE we are all about G.O.A.T.S and the “Glam Squad you can’t sit with us crowd”

See my epiphany comes because I witness this to often, and even as a semi fashionable, popular and pretty girl I have nearly fallen victim to this way of thinking to the point that going out without looking perfect would mean I would rather stay at home.

Stop-and-Smell-the-Peonies.jpg

Waking up to smell the roses (well I prefer peonies) I have realised how sadly, in my thirties this need for perfection and to be perfect at all times has filtered into my love life, right down into the depths of it.

I so often get asked why I am stilllllllllllllll single and what on earth is wrong with me that I am not married (before YOU ASK yip I’m still that little girl who wants to walk down the aisle and hold my newborn in my arms.), and whilst that is for another post where I delve into my love of narcissists and men who need a mother not a soulmate and lover – this constant craving and striving for a love that is a love of my perfection externally and not internally is what I miss out on in all relationships… not all – to you guys I have dated who are reading this and loved me for me you were awesome! I just didn’t chose you as I hadn’t chosen me.

It boils down to hearing these words daily, and I am a person who needs word of affirmation so I believed hearing;

IMG_4854

I love you in that dress

I love that colour on you

I love that everyone thinks you are pretty, it makes me sooo proud

I love the smell of your perfume

I love your body

Yip they loved LOADS of things about me, but they just didn’t love ME. Don’t get me wrong , we all love a compliment and sometimes from the right person when they go starry eyed I get “weakly” kneed, but my words of choice of affirmation would sound more like;

IMG_6832  img_5477.jpg

I love they way your heart aches when you see a sad person, child or animal

I love that you want to rescue the world

I love that you care so little what others think of you

I love that you are clumsy and ditzy but can laugh at yourself

I love your smile as you being happy makes me happy

I love the way you try and make my house a home so I feel less like a visitor in it

I love your passion for your family

I love how little kids are drawn to you

The simple things but the things that would make my heart so very happy and perhaps have me in a veil in no time.

I am ending this rambling off with saying I am a music person, I simply adore music, it invokes memories both happy and sad, it creates a happy atmosphere, it can make a sad moment that much more poignant and a happy moment a euphoric one.

I found this song (well I think the whole world has found it as Ed, yip that Ed… Ed Sheeran sings it) and the lyrics make me smile and cry and laugh, feel and think… an excerpt before I post the whole thing;

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

62468-All-Smiles

The girl I was my whole life, would have defined this as the ultimate romantic moment, the girl I could have become who I think shares the same fears as so many other girls of all ages these days, would be thinking ” Oh no what about my favourite sandals being ruined by the wet ground? My dress is so long are the muddy stains going to come off?  I do look such a mess? Does he really think so.. my hair is curly from the rain, my mascara is smudged, when can I get away to ‘fix’ myself so I look like the girl he deserves | wants?…

tumblr_nc9s0vmtHH1qikmd9o1_500.gif

I mean WHAT???? This would be the ultimate moment. Dancing with the love of my life, barefoot in the dark, just us two. Laughing, loving and believe me as I have realized looking more perfect and beautiful than ever because  I would be happy, my eyes would shine, my smile would be huge and no flaw would go noticed because this man would see those two things and think …. SHE IS PERFECT…

Here is the full song and lyrics below:

maxresdefault

“Perfect”

I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me’Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow
Your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you’re holding mine

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favourite song
When you said you looked a mess
I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it,
Darling, you look perfect tonight

Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own

We are still kids but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favourite song
When I saw you in that dress
Looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this
Darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favourite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight

Until next time…

Lots of Love

Jo-Jo


 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Writing From My Heart | What Makes Beauty…. Perfect

  1. Jo-Jo
    Thank you for touching my soul in what feelings and once mined can create when you are or can be with the right person.

    It’s a beautiful thing when one day you can truly feel ….when heart and mind walks the same road ….I mean I just get excited just thinking about it .

    Any who ….thank you for the great read .
    Another time and another place.

    Much love
    MS

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s