Writing From My Heart | What Makes Beauty…. Perfect

September 23, 2017September 25, 2017 JoJo Bayvel3 Comments

I guess looking at my blog these past few days I have been all about fashion and the external appearance – don’t get me wrong I am a definite slight princess who likes to look her best most of the time, and puts the effort in to do so. (ummm well not all true as like most single girls, I get home wash my face, maybe add a facemask which makes me look like I could star in the new “IT” movie, put that hair in a top bun -MESSY – and grab my comfiest outfit which is most often the most hideous of all my clothing .)

Anyway, I guess I felt I needed to blog about something heartfelt as I never want this blog to be all about the superficial – it’s a blog from the heart of the girl next door.

As I dive headfirst into the deep end of the last part of my 35th year I have had the most amazing realisation, slightly late and not “on trend” as I have begun to appreciate and accept my external looks for what they are – a blessing from God. Nope I don’t think I am a supermodel, nor do I think I am beautiful and I certainly wake up looking like a troll from the 1980’s. However I was blessed with a pretty face, a good body and most importantly a gentle heart, and these are things one should never take for granted. Don’t get me wrong I will still be posting about and testing all those things I love but not to be happy, I am happy …. as me… I just have a bit of a love for fashion and beauty – but it no longer defines me.

This epiphany as I mentioned, comes not “on trend” as more and more “solutions | surgeries | products and cosmetic surgery” have been introduced to the market in order to …. perfect oneself. I notice this just from the fact that people used to ask me all the time who ‘had done’ my lips as they are full, my retort “God” and now they are the norm if not thinner than others, they go unnoticed as lip fillers are top of the charts on every aesthetic booking list and then we go from hand fillers (yip hand fillers) to fish hook facials, to injections everywhere; ones that fill this hole and others that empty that sag bag, to facial therapies which leave you with skin like a baby and nose jobs and lip jobs and boob jobs and calf implants and and and well you can have every hair on your body removed permanently whilst having permanent make-up applied so you look like you have just stepped out of a MAC store when you open your eyes, a body is not good enough being just muscular and fit as well… in this society one can have a PERFECT body not just a great body …. let’s be honest; not only do you need to be Rockefeller or married to his offspring but you have to spend your life at a beauty salon or surgeon as most of these “treatments” do not last longer than a few months so it’s an endless cycle of looking perfect, whilst maintaining this perfectionism only to have to reperfect yourself – vicious circle? Just the thought exhausts me. Don’t get me wrong if I had nothing else to do and an endless trust fund I guess I could get used to that type of life BUT then maybe not…

Not only are the thoughts of what all these procedures may look like in twenty years, as we have yet to see the long term side effects … think cat woman xxxx 10000 or a collapsed face, but how happy can you be if you are always striving for a perfect which can always be more perfect? Why not accept your perfect … each and every person is beautiful and enough and perfect as they are and yes a few little odd jobs done here and there for major complexes are completely understandable but stop there and accept that YOU, that beautiful perfect YOU.

If experts spent as much time researching, developing and testing treatments to enhance and improve inner personality traits and qualities – gratitude, love, patience, kindness, joy, faithfulness a giving heart – and people spent as much time and money acquiring these traits and working on them as hard as they do on being that external perfect, how much more beautiful would this world be?

Would a young chubby, shy girl still be sitting at home crying right now, as she gets no “likes” on her IG page but rather horrible comments? And then would she sob a little more as she knows that the girls at school will still make fun of her as she has not enough money for spray tans and the latest adidas sneakers, when they do not know it is because her father walked out on the family and her mom can barely pay her school fees even though she works two jobs? That can’t exactly be your IG bio right? Unfollow, Block? Who is a fan of a person with no external value??? NOT US BAE we are all about G.O.A.T.S and the “Glam Squad you can’t sit with us crowd”

See my epiphany comes because I witness this to often, and even as a semi fashionable, popular and pretty girl I have nearly fallen victim to this way of thinking to the point that going out without looking perfect would mean I would rather stay at home.

Waking up to smell the roses (well I prefer peonies) I have realised how sadly, in my thirties this need for perfection and to be perfect at all times has filtered into my love life, right down into the depths of it.

I so often get asked why I am stilllllllllllllll single and what on earth is wrong with me that I am not married (before YOU ASK yip I’m still that little girl who wants to walk down the aisle and hold my newborn in my arms.), and whilst that is for another post where I delve into my love of narcissists and men who need a mother not a soulmate and lover – this constant craving and striving for a love that is a love of my perfection externally and not internally is what I miss out on in all relationships… not all – to you guys I have dated who are reading this and loved me for me you were awesome! I just didn’t chose you as I hadn’t chosen me.

It boils down to hearing these words daily, and I am a person who needs word of affirmation so I believed hearing;

I love you in that dress

I love that colour on you

I love that everyone thinks you are pretty, it makes me sooo proud

I love the smell of your perfume

I love your body

Yip they loved LOADS of things about me, but they just didn’t love ME. Don’t get me wrong , we all love a compliment and sometimes from the right person when they go starry eyed I get “weakly” kneed, but my words of choice of affirmation would sound more like;

I love they way your heart aches when you see a sad person, child or animal

I love that you want to rescue the world

I love that you care so little what others think of you

I love that you are clumsy and ditzy but can laugh at yourself

I love your smile as you being happy makes me happy

I love the way you try and make my house a home so I feel less like a visitor in it

I love your passion for your family

I love how little kids are drawn to you

The simple things but the things that would make my heart so very happy and perhaps have me in a veil in no time.

I am ending this rambling off with saying I am a music person, I simply adore music, it invokes memories both happy and sad, it creates a happy atmosphere, it can make a sad moment that much more poignant and a happy moment a euphoric one.

I found this song (well I think the whole world has found it as Ed, yip that Ed… Ed Sheeran sings it) and the lyrics make me smile and cry and laugh, feel and think… an excerpt before I post the whole thing;

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

The girl I was my whole life, would have defined this as the ultimate romantic moment, the girl I could have become who I think shares the same fears as so many other girls of all ages these days, would be thinking ” Oh no what about my favourite sandals being ruined by the wet ground? My dress is so long are the muddy stains going to come off? I do look such a mess? Does he really think so.. my hair is curly from the rain, my mascara is smudged, when can I get away to ‘fix’ myself so I look like the girl he deserves | wants?…

I mean WHAT???? This would be the ultimate moment. Dancing with the love of my life, barefoot in the dark, just us two. Laughing, loving and believe me as I have realized looking more perfect and beautiful than ever because I would be happy, my eyes would shine, my smile would be huge and no flaw would go noticed because this man would see those two things and think …. SHE IS PERFECT…

Here is the full song and lyrics below:

“Perfect”

I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me’Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow
Your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you’re holding mine

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favourite song
When you said you looked a mess
I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it,
Darling, you look perfect tonight

Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own

We are still kids but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favourite song
When I saw you in that dress
Looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this
Darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favourite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight

Until next time…

Lots of Love

Jo-Jo

Lashes I Love | From The Lash & Beauty Room In Wynberg

September 22, 2017September 23, 2017 JoJo BayvelLeave a comment

( Coming From The Girl Who Needed No Extra Help In This Depo But May NOW Just Find Them A Necessity )

Being a natural blonde, yip natural if somewhat a rather drab mousy colour which needs a whole lot of help getting it to be a ‘nice’ colour, I have always struggled with my lashes – and that panda look when wearing no mascara. I do have really long and thick natural lashes but as they are blonde they seem to fade into nothing……

Tinting has helped as well as using a product called GrandeLash MD which makes them appear darker however the tint fades so quickly and the GrandeLash works so well that with these natural lashes of mine, I tend to need to trim them after a week or so. Yip all beauticians are surprised when they realise they do actually need a trim … perhaps that extra cm of height I needed for my 5″3 frame landed up attached to my eyelid!

And so having to go to London for two weeks and not wanting to hassle with tinting (EXPENSIVE in POUNDS) or mascara and smudging I decided to try out false eyelashes.

Terrifying, as the “ONLY” thing I have that is fake are hair extensions and I used to think that lash extensions were akin to botox – dreadful and could only cause damage, like that os pulling my own natural lashes out.

Until I found Emma Brink, owner of The Lash and Beauty Room in Wynberg, Cape Town.

WOW she is amazing And being the terrified Tim I am I will not and really don’t need to go anywhere else in Cape Town when I want to get these done again.

Not only is Emma brilliant but she is absolutely divine and so fun to be around which makes these daunting experiences just that much easier, in fact I fell fast asleep.

On arriving at the salon Emma noted my lashes were long and thick as it is, and being the true artist she is, told me we would go for the natural look and half a set of extensions – not having me leaving looking like I should star in Priscilla Queen of the Desert (YAY Emma) someone who believes that less is more is always a friend.

BEFORE:

Emma got to work and within less than an hour I left feeling like my eyes simply popped! No mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow just these gorgeous new lashes.

AFTER:

From someone who wears make-up due to a little scarring on my skin these extensions actually let me wear so much less makeup as my eyes stood out and all else faded… what a pleasure on holiday, for work or for well any reason really! Waking up looking like you have just sat in a make-up artist’s chair is a pretty amazing feeling for any girl.

The best part? These lashes lasted over two weeks and simply came out naturally without me having to pull out prod or even visit a salon, and I am left with my own naturally thick and long lashes – no damage.

The one thing I can say is that I may have now found a new “must-have” I am not enjoying the panda look, smudged mascara or having to try and enhance my eyes EVERY SINGLE DAY.. Emma I shall see you soon.

Ps Have a peep at Emma’s microblading … WOW.

And did I mention she makes bespoke clothing too? The lady is a genius.

Follow on Facebook @ The Lash & Beauty Room

Follow on IG @ www.instagram.com/lashandbeautyroom/

Visit the website and MAKE YOUR appointment www.thelashandbeautyroom.com

Follow Emma and view her clothing @ www.instagram.com/emilybrinkly/

Lots of Love

Jo-Jo

My Work | Services Offered As A Digital Marketing Consultant| An Old One WIth Over 16 Years Experience :)

September 15, 2017September 18, 2017 JoJo BayvelLeave a comment

Today’s digital landscape is more competitive than ever, requiring marketing leaders to execute online strategies that attract, convert, and retain more customers. Combining analytics with goal-driven methodology, I will help you benchmark your current initiatives, establish clear and realistic objectives, and create a roadmap for your success.

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A Plea For Help For An Angel Child & Her Carer

August 22, 2017September 16, 2017 JoJo Bayvel1 Comment

Call for help from all those kind hearted people I know 💞 …

I met Refilwe nearly 4 yrs ago.

She was born with birth asphyxia, is blind & deaf. Yet, what captured my heart ❤️ is that a touch made this little cherub erupt with laughter, causing tears to flow freely down my cheeks.

I am not setting up a gofundme page as the help she needs is not only related to monetary assistance, instead she needs to continue with the physiotherapy we began to ensure she retains movement of her little limbs and does not become stiff & paralyzed. And so anyone who would be willing to volunteer their time & heart please let me know.

Refilwe is looked after by a special angel, Lucky. And lucky she is, to have this lady in her life. Lucky needs formula, clothing and diapers for refilwe & any toys or items which would benefit her coordination.

Lucky has a crèche in Malaatjie squatter camp near Lanseria & cares for children with mainly special needs…. please help me to continue to provide as much life as we can give to Refikwe & to help Lucky as she helps others even though she does not have the means to do so…. jojobayvel@me.com

Beautiful Love Quotes….

July 29, 2017September 16, 2017 JoJo BayvelLeave a comment

Having been a little betrayed and hurt – I seem to jump onboard the wrong ships (most of which could give the Titanic sinking, a run for its money 🙂 ) and for some reason I let the right ships those who would sail me to the most beautiful sunsets and provide me my own safehaven loosen their anchor and sail away as they lose patience with waiting for this girl who just simply chooses the wrong ships…. and yet in my heart I am not bitter and remain a true romantic and believer in fairytales as I have seen and experienced love, real love, in all its beauty, even for a short amount of time. I know that my ship is somewhere in the harbour. A little hidden until I perhaps make the right choice and remain onboard or perhaps my ship has sailed and not found that beautiful sunset and until then, I will wait on its return….

So as a believer in this beauty of love I wanted to share a few of my favourite ( a few as I have more than 1000) but some that resonate and remind me not to drown but to breathe, wait and know I will not stay in this harbour forever…

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
— James Baldwin
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
— Lucille Ball
“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”
— Rainer Maria Rilke
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”
— Morrie Schwartz
“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
— Herman Hesse
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
— Roy Croft
“Love is a friendship set to music.”
— Joseph Campbell
“We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“When we are in love we seem to ourselves quite different from what we were before.”
— Blaise Pascal
“The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.”
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
“Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.”
— Leo Buscaglia
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
— Rumi
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”
— Lao Tzu
“You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.”
— Julia Roberts
“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.”
— Plato
“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.”
— Alfred Tennyson
“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.”
— Helen Keller
“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”
— Oscar Wilde
“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.”
— Henry Miller
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
— Oprah Winfrey
“You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
— Dr. Seuss
“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”
— Khalil Gibran
“’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
— Alfred Lord Tennyson

“Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.”
— Vincent Van Gogh
“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”
— Albert Ellis
“If you would be loved, love, and be loveable.”
— Benjamin Franklin
“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
“We are most alive when we’re in love.”
— John Updike
“The love we give away is the only love we keep.”
— Elbert Hubbard
“The giving of love is an education in itself.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
“The more one judges, the less one loves.”
— Honore de Balzac
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”
— Ingrid Bergman
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
— Lao Tzu
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see in truth that you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
— Kahlil Gibran
“Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.”
— Andre Breton
“Love is a better teacher than duty.”
— Albert Einstein
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
— Erich Segal
“Every person has to love at least one bad partner in their lives to be truly thankful for the right one.”
— Unknown
“Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.”
— James Thurber
“The best proof of love is trust.”
— Joyce Brothers
“A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.”
— Honore de Balzac
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
— Carl Sagan
“Fortune and love favor the brave.”
— Ovid
“Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.”
— David Wilkerson
“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”
— Wayne Dyer
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”
— Anaïs Nin
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
— A. A. Milne
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
— Charles Schulz