As i always mention I have the ‘happy gene’, laughter truly is my absolute best whether at be my clumsy self, or in the company of someone who is genuinely funny.

Laughter just lights up my heart & soul. Even when going through rough times, I somehow manage to laugh and joke (and this comes from my tummy heart – no faking that).

At times I do battle with being a complete empath. Why? Because it hurts to actually feel the pain someone else is experiencing. Then i remember that this is a blessing, what better way to help someone or, you guessed it a mistreated, abused or stray animal (my obsession), then by being able to truly understand how they feel and as such doing my utmost to help them. This does mainly involve me snuggling, rescuing, wanting to bring home every stray dog on earth or being laughed at, because of my quirks, clumsiness and lack of coordination and what a blessing, to be able to give and animal just an nth of the love it has never experienced. Or allowing someone to escape their dire circumstances or pain, with a small distraction and laughter from their bellies.

I certainly reiterate that we live in a shallow world where people seem to have lost their depth, but i do think these people still feel sympathy – even if for a fleeting moment.

The difference;

sympathy/ˈsɪmpəθi/

noun

Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.”they had great sympathy for the flood victims”

empathy/ˈɛmpəθi

noun

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

No we are not sensitive wrecks (we usually have it quite together as we have dealt with all problems in the world 🙂 ) but certain things may just annoy someone who is a sympath not an empath…

So here it goes how to love an Empath, let me count the ways: fiercely, honestly and with all you’ve got.

We don’t take love lightly so when we truly choose to open our hearts to you, expect to be blown away. It’s intense and powerful and messy and some times hard to handle but it’s real. Empaths don’t know how to love any other way. Think my theme song “Secret Garden” we just don’t let people in until we know that we know that we know, they get us.

Think about it. An Empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the energy/moods/emotions of people, situations and their environment to the point where they can take on those emotions as their own. They also have to some degree ‘psychic’ abilities of “knowing” things without having proof. Somewhat mysterious and complex, as their emotions run deep. How will you understand my tears for a lady I don’t even know who is homeless and begging for food, with a child on her back?

Ahhhh my worst part of being an Empath; When you’re looking into the eyes of an Empath who has opened up their heart to you will see vulnerability, honesty, hurt, pain, dreams, happiness,love. With emotions flying, thoughts racing and ideas flowing nonstop, not everybody is fit to love one. We simply can’t lie as our eyes give us away…

So how do you love us complex yet what I would deem special individuals…… run for your life or love with all you have.

An inherent quality in a, persons nature cannot change, so please don’t expect that.
Nothing will drive an Empath further away more than if you try to change our sensitivity and empathic abilities. YES, we are different from the majority of the people you know but so what? We’re sensitive. We’re intuitive. We get easily overstimulated. We cry. We see the beauty in everything. We feel the pain of others. Don’t try to change us. It won’t work and we will close ourselves off to you immediately. Its odd an empath can cut someone off completely, in a second without a care – contradiction much?

Caging us will cause damage.
We are like birds; we need to be able to fly freely to wherever our emotions take us. There will be highs and lows and twisting and turning in-betweens. Caging us is like clipping our wings. We will lose the light that guides our way if you try to control us. If that happens, we will shut down and the love we have to give gets tucked pretty deep inside of us. We need to breathe we need our space, we aren’t clingy.

Time alone is non-negotiable even for the extroverted empath like me.
Empaths need to re-energize in a space that is all their own. It will look differently for everyone but chances are they need time to be alone. It can be tiring always feeling the energy of the people surrounding us, please don’t be mad or annoyed when we need to refuel on our own. It doesn’t mean we don’t love or want to be around you. It means we need to quiet our mind and replenish our energy. We will come back happier than before, I promise.

Take what we say seriously.
Empaths are extremely creative folks. There’s always a next idea that’s popping up in their head, listen to them. Take them seriously. Believe in them, even as crazy as the idea sounds. Empaths, arguably more than anyone else, have the ability to truly change the world. Listen to them when they pour their hearts out to you. Because somewhere in between their excitement, their passion and words that get jumbled, something quite amazing is ready to be created.Being supportive helps us open up
Yip we know we’re different, this isn’t new to us. We know the way we see life doesn’t make sense to a lot of non-empathetic people. We also know there’s a whole world of people out there trying to change us. If you want to love us, support us. Step out on a limb and have a little faith in us. This actually helps us feel safe enough to more open about who we are.

Our intuition is usually spot on.
Contrary to popular belief, we actually do know what we’re talking about. We’re empathetic, remember? We feel everything. So, when we have a good feeling about something, trust us. When we have a bad feeling about something, trust us. When we go after a dream because it speaks to our hearts, trust us. When we think somebody is lying, trust us. For a non-empathetic person I understand this is putting a lot of “blind faith” in someone but trust me, trusting the Empath in you life will show her that you believe in what she’s saying.

Be honest; dishonesty destroys us.
As an Empath, most people think sugar-coating things is the way to go. I will tell you with 100% certainty being honest is the ONLY way to go. The betrayal we feel from being lied to, after we have opened up our hearts and souls to you, is something that will take a very long time to recover from. It can, and most likely, will ruin your relationship. Just be honest.The couple of days of crying sure beats losing an Empath for good.

Don’t compete with the love we have for our animals.
MOST, not all, but most Empaths feel unbelievably connected to animals and have a one or two (or seven) furry friends that they ABSOLUTELY LOVE. When I say connected what I really mean is they would do anything for them. Some days you will feel like you come second to them. If you want the honest truth, you kinda do. They can’t help it. The love they feel for their pets is different from the love they feel for you and it shouldn’t be competed with. Don’t try. I guarantee your wife will love you more if you can accept and appreciate the deep love she has for her dog.

We need you to make us laugh.
Some days we need someone to pull us out of our non-stop minds and remind us what it is to laugh until our bellies hurt. To have fun like children do. To live in the moment and not be so serious all the time. We need someone to push the pause button for a moment and let us know it’s OK to enjoy ourselves.

Know there are some things we will never give up.
There are things in this world that speak so clearly and directly to our hearts it feels like it’s apart of us. As dramatic as it may sound, it’s almost like we won’t be ourselves without it. It could be music, painting, photography, working for a non-profit organization, feeding the homeless. It’s love and passion. Some of the most passionate people in the world are Empaths. If we lose our passion, we lose ourselves. Please don’t ask or expect us to give up on something that has changed our hearts for the better.Our hearts break daily.
It’s overwhelming being an Empath. Some days all it takes is for somebody to say one “wrong” thing to me or to see an image of something terrible or hear a story about a person I don’t know who’s gone through the unthinkable and I’m crying like a baby. Our hearts break easily. It can be devastating at times to be an Empath so on those days, let us cry. No questions or advice needed, just accept our hearts are heavy from this world and we need to cry it out.

Understand we love with great intensity.
It’s no surprise that when you feel deeply connected to almost everything, you love with great intensity. We truly feel “one” with our surroundings! So when we love somebody we feel one with them and our love is intense. It’s powerful. It can heal but in the wrong hands, it can be dangerous. In the right hands, it will change you forever. And for the better.

Accept our abilities to feel the world around us.
Poking fun at our sensitivity is one thing. Judging, ridiculing and belittling who we truly are is another. Acting as if “this” is something we will “get over” is a kiss of death when in a relationship with an Empath. Accept us. Love us. We have a unique ability to see and feel the world differently. Don’t judge us, please.

Don’t cast your insecurity on us.
It takes a secure man to really love an Empathetic woman. That is the God’s honest truth. If you want to tear her down by casting your insecurity on her, sadly it may work. Feeling how others feel isn’t something she can turn off. But I know if you do that, she will hide the best of her from you. She will temporarily clip her own wings and it will be your loss. The beauty and most amazing parts of her happen when she’s in motion.If it is too much, please leave gracefully.
Maybe you’ve met her at the wrong time, or it wasn’t meant to be forever or this is too much for you right now. Either way, love her by leaving gracefully. Do not cage her or put her down or make her feel insecure about who she is. Love her by leaving with respect and honesty. She will love and thank you for it.

If you get the chance to love an Empath even just once in your life, you are lucky. It won’t always be easy but it will most definitely be worth it.

Love always and a day,

Jojo