Sorry ladies if this offends you or if you feel it is chauvinistic – in my ‘books’ this was the way marriage used to be and those couples loved and survived despite or inspite of difficult times and situations. Role reversal and fanatical feminism or even a man who is far to metro sexual has caused confusion and created marriages and relationships where the role of male and female is so undefined that confusion occurs and I believe this is a large contributing factor to our high divorce rate. So read on and think about it …
I was thinking, the most BEAUTIFUL women are the ones that are selfless. I think that submissive, caring, driven women are so sexy! I love it when I look at a woman’s page (on social media) and it’s nice and sweet. No club pics, no pictures of her in the mirror, no vulgar, drama filled updates… just her. I realized that most women draw their cues from other women. They look at big butts, huge breasts, hairstyles, and lifestyles of other women and try to imitate it thinking that it’s what men want. Well, its NOT. Yes, we give those women attention, yes those women get flown places, yes they get taken shopping, but at the end of the day (to us) they are simply something to do. (Typically something to sex). The treatment that they get is part of a contract. That is, spend a little money and a little time and her legs will always be open for you. (Dudes do just enough to keep them interested.)
What men, GOOD MEN, REALLY want is a GOOD woman! PERIOD. Give a man your (undivided) attention, time and affection and he will give you love and respect. If you cater to him, nurture him, mend his wounds and encourage his dreams he will lay down his life for you!
A man, a REAL MAN, takes pride in being a man! He will sacrifice EVERYTHING if it will put one smile on his woman’s face. No mountian will be too high to climb and no ocean too deep to swim. A man will go to the ends of the Earth to provide for the RIGHT woman.
Ladies, take pride in being a WOMAN. Take pride in the fact that you are the backbone of mankind. The power, majesty and beauty of civilization comes from your womb! We (men) recognize that. We long for the woman that understands that as well.
Allow us to take the lead. Not to control you, but to protect you. Let us clear the path so that your walk will be made easy.
Submit to us. Not for us to stand over you, but so that we can extend our hand to lift you up, over our heads.
Ladies, in our eyes (a REAL man’s eyes), there is NOTHING more precious than a woman. NOTHING.
One thing that I have realized about relationships is that people are continuously responding to the actions of others. What that means is, the best way to be happy, the best way to have a healthy, meaningful relationship is to give what you expect to get. If you want to be cherished, respected and valued, give us those things!
The treatment that a man gives to his woman starts and ends with her. Consider us, our feelings, our expectations, and the fact that we want to be treated EXACTLY how you want to be treated and watch as the world opens up to you.
Ladies, we love you, we need you, and we want you to understand that the way you treat us (and YOURSELF) dictates the way that we treat you.
Lastly, understand that your beauty and value ARE NOT defined by how you look or what you own. Your beauty and value is defined by your heart and it’s ability to give and RECEIVE love.
I’m done being sappy.
Read E.mackeys’ response to criticism on his post here
2 thoughts on “Loved this – An open letter to women:: What men REALLY want – Posted by dernierevie”
You might also enjoy this lovely piece by @emackeycreates
Since I posted an article yesterday entitled “What Men Really Want”, I have been asked to share my full opinion on the writer’s thoughts.
I began to dissect the article bit by bit and add commentary after each paragraph, but then I decided to scrap the idea because it was just getting snarky and, honestly, I don’t feel like breaking this guy down. We’re all on different parts of the path and he’ll either come around or he won’t. My leveling harsh criticism at him isn’t going to influence that outcome one way or the other. So, I’ll just tell you what’s true for me.
I was raised, in large part, by strong women. We had plenty of men in the family but they tended to work a lot so I spent a good deal of time with my Grandmother, Great Grandmother and aunts. They were my earliest, consistent role models for how to move through the world with purpose, grace, and a kind heart. I loved them fiercely and they spent a great deal of time and patience on me. Something I will be forever grateful for.
I suppose a lot of people have had that experience, but I’m not sure that everybody’s family was filled with a pack of women that were as badass as mine. These were not women who needed to be taken care of by men. They were capable (with their brains and hands), smart, outspoken, and were unafraid to point out injustice when they saw it. They were all in partnership with men, but not submissive to anyone. There was no subjugation there. If they did mend wounds it was because they loved, not because they were obligated by their sex to do so. If they were barefoot and pregnant, it was because they wanted to have a kid and didn’t feel like wearing shoes, not because they felt that their womb was the cradle, and power, and majesty of civilization. And if you were to ever utter something as ludicrous as “I’m here to protect you”, well, you might just lose one of your front teeth.
So, when I read an article like this, I can’t help but bristle because these ideas stand in such stark contrast to the reality of my upbringing. All politics and feminism aside, I can’t see why anyone would prefer to have a woman submit to them and let them “take the lead” instead of having another brain and pair of hands that are more than capable of helping you to solve life’s mysteries. Not only is it insulting and degrading, it just doesn’t make any sense. Partnership, friendly or romantic is the thing I hold in the highest regard and I can’t imagine having anything less than that in my relationships.
In a way, this isn’t even about women for me. It’s about seperateness. Ideas like those put forth in the post frame women as the “other”; an object or servant or baby maker or slut that is engaged in relationship only insofar as it is useful to the men they are with. Besides being a horrible set of ideas for the women in question, it’s just sad that a man would limit himself to views like these.
In their defense, men have taught me many things. Probably two-thirds of the practical skills that I have were passed on to me by men who took the time and had the patience to guide me through the beginner’s process because they cared about my development. I am extremely grateful for each and every one of those lessons and I use those skills every day. I love that I have those skills, but if I lost them all, I’d still be okay.
If I were to lose the skills I have been taught by women, however, it would be very difficult to function in the world with any sense of joy, purpose, or cooperation. I suppose you could call them “soft skills” although I don’t especially like the term because there isn’t a word or phrase that is truly up to the task of describing what women have given to me with anything that approaches accuracy. If I think of the things that really, really matter to me outside of career and hobbies, there’s a woman there who taught me how to be those things. A small but important sampling would look something like this:
Caring for those less fortunate than ourselves
Love beyond romantic love
The importance of humor
I could go on and make a list a mile long, giving you specific examples of each one, but I won’t. Suffice to say that, the way I navigate life is with a map that has been largely drawn by women. They are the cartographers of my heart. They have softened my edges, allowed me to shed some of my armor, and taught me that there are a vast array of possibilities that exist between the poles of fight and flight. Without them I probably wouldn’t be totally lost, but I would certainly spend a lot more time aimlessly wandering the emotional landscape, wondering where to go next.
As far as being “proud to be a man”, I’ve never found any particular use for it nor have I found any conventional models of manhood very compelling, save for those of fictional characters such as Atticus Finch. Sure, I’m a man, but any pride I have doesn’t come from my sex, nor do I believe there’s any intrinsic value in simply being a male or a female of the species. When I do feel proud, that pride stems from the moments when I am most kind or empathetic or loving toward myself or others. Qualities that have little to do with sex, but are often taught and nurtured by women…at least in my case.
Although this is beginning to read like a love letter to women (which it is), it is also a wish that we become less concerned with gender as it pertains to the roles that we can play in society. I’m much more interested in us making better people out of our children than I am about making better men and women. I think this starts with the denial we have going about the interconnectedness of everything, which leads me back to my earlier statement about women and seperateness. As long as we believe that we are so different from each other, the less chance we have, I feel, of developing true and equal partnerships with each other. Of course, this goes far beyond gender and deep into race and culture as well…something there’s not enough space for here, but something we need to start talking about in earnest, because ignoring it and hoping it goes away isn’t working.
Lastly, I’m really glad this came up yesterday and I’d like to thank the author of the piece because it allowed me a full twenty-four hours to reflect on how fortunate I have been and how many fantastic women I have had the privilege of knowing. Thank you as well to those women who have been such a constant source of inspiration, partnership, and strength in my life. I love you and I hope that I have done my level best to show you that.