This is what it means…. to be held when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive….

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Today, 1st October 2011, marks the end of the life of a magnificent creature, who has given not only his family but every person who has touched his soft coat, the joy of knowing a beautiful, kind and somewhat “unintelligent” dog. Seven years ago we fetched you, our “Big Boy” and knew from the instant we saw that enormous head and kind eyes that you would fast become an intricate and special part of our lives. My Dutch or as your than mom now aunty, used to call you “Butch”, you have been the ultimate friend, playmate and source of laughter and now tears for each of us. The memories you have provided are countless and never to be forgotten now that you have gone to your place in doggy Heaven. Your crazy antics of dragging that huge body on a crazy sprint around the house at 5pm every day without knocking over a single thing, the bark that scares you more than anyone else, dragging me 100m along a field on my back to visit your girlfriend “mika lika” at training, scared of the dark, scared of the night, too lazy to lift your paws over obstacles at training, the way your entire body moves with a simple wag of your excited tail, the begging at the dining room table with expressive eyebrows that lift in every direction they can, running into the vet to greet your friends and being “that” dog who even non dog lovers fall head over heels for. The list is endless my boy, you have given us so much.

The short span on an animal’s life is far too short for a human heart to handle. – Mine is broken. Two days ago today I thought you would be here for a little while longer. It is a pity that we cannot rewind in life, in fact when a life is shortened time seems to suddenly go into fast forward with no pause or stop button – only God has that remote. Now we know it’s a whisper of memories we have left with you, no more seconds to watch, call you and hug you. What we would all do for a few more hugs and kisses. 7 years has been too little….. the thought of coming home and not seeing you leaves us gutted, I cannot even think of where your body will be buried for fear of knowing you are gone from that place. Happy, but not with us. As the tears pour down my face and my tummy does a thousand somersaults, my breathe unable to catch and my heart shatters a little more I realise that this is what it means to be held by God…. when you our sacred “Big” is gone your earthly existence…. Torn from our loving embrace ….we will survive … Tired, weary, heartbroken but knowing you gave us your all and for that we can only be grateful….. Boy, you have made it more impossible for this aunt to ever give my heart away…. If this is heartbreak I don’t want to ever feel it again….

 

I love you Dutch… Our “BIG dog” …. You have taught us so much we will return the favour by paying forward, everything you have given us, tenfold…. We said goodbye you went safely and peacefully still wagging that tail and we will look after your mom and dad.

We miss you already, it’s ridiculous….  We love you always hopefully enough to realise we should stop crying one day as you only like happy people.

They say a Dog is a man’s best friend… In your case it has been a plural… You are our every one of our best friends…. Forever.

 

Goodbye for now our Dutch we miss you Much too Much already…

 

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