I will admit that sometimes I really do wonder if you exist.
There is a part of every little girl’s heart that envisions her prince charming. At age three, it is usually of a man who can save her from the wrath of an evil stepmother, wake her from eternal slumber or give her that true love’s kiss.
In primary school, he becomes the boy with the least cooties, the one who is willing to cross the playground to share his Smarties even if it makes him a target for the week of all the other boys.
Come high school, it’s that boy you stand with at your matric dance,who your father stared down at the door, who provided you with an experience complete with photos you will cringe at a decade later, a corsage that yellows in the refrigerator, and a faded memory of a night that seemed almost too magical to be real.
Thirty years into this life, however, and still wary of giving my heart away, I am still that same little girl who hopes for her prince charming. And although I wonder why it has taken you this long to sweep me off my feet and whisk me off to your palace on horseback, I know that it is probably because having you love me will be better than any fairytale I could’ve read as a kid.
I may already know you or may still meet you someday… i hope it is you..something I leave completely up to God because I’m pretty sure our story will be epic.
However, I can’t promise you that I’d make the world’s most perfect princess. In fact I’ll probably keep you on your toes and amuse you with my eccentricities…there are a lot of them. I’ll probably steal a bunch of your T-shirts and turn them into shirt dresses, or drive you slightly mad with my obsessive compulsivity and my need to fix your collar constantly.
I can promise to be your best friend however that person you can rant to after a rough day, the hand you can hold when you get sad, or the person you can text when situations and life get awkward.
I’ll probably mess up your hair sometimes and hug you for too long, but that will only be because I absolutely adore you. I will bury my head in your shoulder during scary movies and make you feel like superman when you kill those flying cockroaches that really should not exist. I will cook your favorite food on your birthday and try my best to make friends with your mom.
I will respect your nights-out with the boys and make you seem like the perfect guy to my girls. I will watch rugby or soccer games with you, and not complain when you cheer too loudly at the TV set, in fact I will be shouting louder.
I will know the difference between giving you space and being constantly there for you…even if it means sitting and reading a book playing a game of scrabble with you or taking hot chocolate runs when it rains.
I will listen to your music and we will go on epic adventures together,seeing the world, taking awesome pictures, eating awesome food, and never running out of things to tell each other along the way.
I won’t be waiting for you to sweep me off my feet and take me on a magic carpet ride, because I know I wont and maybe don’t need anything like that to fall for you… i will love you for you.
You will be that someone to make goofy faces with in pictures, to lace fingers with when I am lonely, and to take long walks under the stars with on the beach.
You will be the guy who takes me the way I am and will laugh as I burst into Disney song or pick out pink wallpaper or trip over a non existent rock…
You will be that someone I envision a future with us filling out visa forms as we travel the universe, picking out our first dog together and arguing about what to name it, or being snap-happy stage parents in our nursery schooler’s annual mini-plays. And I keep hoping that maybe someday when we find each other, you will become that someone whose smile I wake up to in the morning and the last one I speak to every night.
So to the man I know does exist, and who will help me maybe make sense of the world someday, this man I can’t wait to love. Please know that I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But for now, I wait. Fingers crossed and palms held together, I hope that you are waiting for me, too.
With the hope I will be yours for always until then I pray for you every night. That God will protect you and keep you safe in His arms for me ….