Beautiful People Don’t Just Happen…

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.


My Silver Lining … 2017

What can we say about 2016, except that it was a rather horrendous (no exaggeration) year, for most people.  Headlines dictated tragedy after tragedy and these tragedies also occurred, privately and very close to home….15822991_10158080094775201_884326883164920373_n


Whilst contemplating all that has happened in this past year, sitting in the exact same place – at the beautiful lodge our dad has blessed us with the opportunity of being able to visit – I could not have imagined and still cannot even begin to get my head around  all the absolutely dreadful things we have been through this year. BUT then I look at each of these things as I list them below and realise that after each thunderstorm there followed a rainbow – God has always, and will always keep His promise to us.


Nothing is ever perfect but He does love us perfectly and that makes life pretty much perfection to me.sunshine_through_clouds

On an evening game drive I saw a cloud with a perfect silver lining another promise that though troubles will befall us, sometimes we just have to look for that glimmer of hope, that silver lining and then – everything will be alright (thanks Bob).


Rounding up 2016 in as small a nutshell as I can – it was a year filled with major changes and chaos…. We survived stronger than ever and far more blessed than so many others out there.


We started a year with my pops retiring – a difficult thing for an ex springbok OCD, ADD, always busy and successful businessman… WELL he has learnt to sew: p and has sanded and re-sanded furniture all year (concerning at first ) yet he has learnt so much about us girls and how to relax and laugh with us … happiness is having a dad like him.

My darling angel sister Debs, who beat a rare and deadly Cancer after an 11 year battle of fighting for her life, losing many body parts (we are slightly concerned about the cape town wind blowing her and our Chihuahuas away –  yes we laugh at these things). This was followed by remission for 18 years, where she still struggled with major operations to reconstruct, remove foreign bodies and keep her tiny body functioning perfectly … and then in Feb the dreaded relapse, two months of absolute agony and strife as she fought the hardest battle yet and the only time we thought we would lose this angel .. tears stream down my cheeks  …..BUT again she beat the dreaded C and is healthy and well she is just a superhero really.


The family moved to Cape Town straight after this ordeal , to join my oldest sister her hubby and my adorable  nephews, rather exhausted and stressed after 160 trips to Sunninghill hospital. Then after unpacking and living with the folks again at 34 and 38 (not ideal even though we love each other dearly, strong minds make for pretty ferocious arguments)   we found out my folks oldest and best friend Dave Ferguson, lovingly known as Fergi and husband to Barbs – the couple my folks would enjoy their retirement with – had stage 4 oesophageal and lymph cancer… we visited we loved, and as his strong body kept him alive in hospice we waited for this amazing man to take his final breath. He did and we all miss him dearly BUT he managed to see his son Nicholas get married to his beloved Nandi as they changed their wedding plans and had a small and intimate wedding in Simons Town before their major celebration in Johannesburg.


Living with the folks was still proving pretty stressful AGAIN I STRESS we adore each other but after the year we had had, debs and I decided we needed to move out. So we did and found a lovely house to rent which was built in 1905 so mostly held together with paint and hope. AND THEN after searching and me making a faux pas sending hearts to an estate agent, ever the blonde I am, we sold our home in Johannesburg and have brought the most magnificent piece of land to build on in Cape Town. With mountain and ocean views.. and well close enough to where my folks are building so we can still pop in to “buy” groceries and have dinner with our amazing parents whom we are now closer to then ever.


Cape Town is beautiful but at times I have felt is can be like a beautiful person with only looks and no soul… heartless, cold, sordid and odd. It has the potential to suck (I nearly succumbed) one into a world of want and need and more and more and nothing is ever enough.. It has the power to induce a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of failure even if one is successful.. AND YET I am thankful that after my life’s experiences my values are so different and money although nice to have and as a family we are blessed with enough, my dad ensured we would all be self-sufficient even though he helps plenty, I AM GROUNDED and envy no one except those who don’t feel love and empathy for others. I am happy with me and what I have because I have so much! And so now I can love Cape Town’s beauty in the form of its outdoor activities, beautiful views and most people’s love of dogs as well as time with my oldesr sis and best nephews.

In the last few months, moms car was stolen, dad crashed his, we have all battled PSTD and YET we are happy ….

This post is short and not as ‘deep’ as my usual writing but WOW I have beaten my writers block which makes me so happy. I can finally write Debs book and help others… AND most of all I can pursue my passion of writing.Showing people that although my life looks a little bit of perfect on social media (I call it fakebook and Instantfilteredgram for a reason) I am just an ordinary girl who wants to share my small but extraordinary experiences good or bad with others going through these same things….


Love to you and May God Bless you in 2017





Being A ‘Heart’ Person

I have so often thought that I am a ‘head’ over ‘heart’person. A person who made decisions based on rationale and not emotion, a person who thought things through ‘intelligently’ and did not let my heart sway any of my choices.

Just thinking about one aspect of this scenario is in relationships. I have always been the one to say ‘yes I have been cheated on often , been spoken to badly, treated appallingly’ and yet I walk into new relationships with trust and confidence and no ‘baggage’, as my head says ‘this person isn’t the last person/s you dated … trust them and let down your guard’… the thing I have begun to realize is, how wrong I am.

These past hurts and acts of cheating and lying are embedded in my heart and the thing is, they have made me build walls so high and have created a fear of losing myself to love. Because my heart says love hurts , people lie and cheat and are never the person you first meet (well the act can be kept up for a couple of months I guess.) So i back away and that is not a ‘head’ decision, as I want to get married and have kiddies and love my best friend and soul mate forever.

So you see I’ve realized I’m without a doubt a ‘heart’ person through and through In short…. feeling > thinking..And I am actually pretty happy I am this way…

There is no doubt that I do believe that it is important to be both a ‘head’ & a ‘heart’ person. God equipped us with both a mind and a heart, and I think that most decisions in life should be made using both (also intuition, but we’ll save that for another post).

For now though, and for those of you who identify, here are a few ways to know if you are what I realise now, is that special kind of person.. a ‘heart’ person

You keep a diary or pen notes on your phone or scrap pieces of paper.

You have to verbally process everything, preferably with another ‘heart’ person. And sometimes over an over until your head gets around your heart thought.

Affection is your thing. Giving and getting.

You’re a hopeless (hopeful?) romantic. Don’t even try to fight it.

You’re highly sympathetic and empathetic. Wanting to save the world, animals, children and almost anything that cant save itself.

You try to make everyone happy and because their is only one of you and your heart to go around, you can’t and end up sometimes hurting people who think you have let them down, when in reality you just don’t have the heart capacity.

You desperately seek out those songs that make your heart explode (which typically occur two, maybe three times a year). Either to cry, laugh or just feel nostalgically lost in the music.

You’re one of those “cry out of happiness” people.

You’re bad at pretending you’re interested in something when you’re not.

Sometimes your life feels like a movie or a book and you want it to stay that way.

You’re probably into writing, music, dance, or art of some sort.

If you really like something or find something funny, you have to share it with everyone. Everyone. and Everywhere.

You’re observant and discerning of the emotions of people around you and you try to be a ‘fixer’ as much as possible.

You sometimes wish you weren’t a ‘heart person’, but most of the time you wouldn’t have it any other way…….

My secret garden … Meaning ….

Being in digital marketing & having to be active on “social media” which means I am forever posting pics, updates and comments. These are mostly “surface level” I am a really private person. Yes, an extrovert but for me to expose my true soul takes a trust rarely found… I don’t let people in …
Hence my chosen song ….
I think this is one of the most beautiful love songs ever written, probably because it is so applicable to me…. the meaning isn’t always obvious to everyone.

It’s about a woman who wants to be deeply in love with a man, but will she ever let him close enough to see the real her. She’s always that little bit scared to let her guard down, because she can’t completely trust anyone yet she is capable of a beautiful and gentle love.
She needs more from him, before she can let him all the way in. Basically like any relationship he’s got to prove that he won’t hurt her before she gives her everything to him. “But into her secret garden, don’t think twice” that’s me in a nutshell … Will I ever trust enough to fall.. I hope so … Here are the lyrics … Music video here

She’ll let you in her house
If you come knockin’ late at night
She’ll let you in her mouth if the
Words you say are right

If you pay the price
She’ll let you deep inside
But there’s a secret garden she hides

She’ll let you in her car
To go drivin’ round
She’ll let you into the parts of herself
That’ll bring you down

She’ll let you in herheart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don’t think twice

You’ve gone a million miles
How far’d you get to that place where
You can’t remember and you can’t forget

She’ll lead you down a path
There’ll be tenderness in the air
She’ll let you come just far enough
So you know she’s really there
She’ll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She’s got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay a million miles away


Live Life… A Poem


Life is crazy,
and totally unpredictable…
It’s going to push you over,
kick you while you’re down
and hit you when you try to get back up.
Not everything can beat you.
Things are going to change you,
But you get to choose which ones you let change you.
Listen to your heart,
Follow your dreams,
And let no one tell you what you’re capable of.
Push the limits,
Bend the rules,
And enjoy every minute of it.
Laugh at everything,
Live for as long as you can.
Love all,
But trust none.
Believe in yourself,
And never lose faith in others
Settle for nothing but only the best,
And give 110% in everything you do.
Take risks,
Live on the edge,
Yet stay safe,
And cherish every moment of it.
Life is a gift,
Appreciate all the rewards,
And jump on every opportunity.
Not everyone’s going to love you
But who needs them anyways.
Challenge everything,
And fight for what you believe.
Back down to nothing,
But give in to the little things in life,
After all, that is what makes you.
Forget the unnecessary,
But remember everything,
Bring it with you everywhere you go.
Learn something new,
And appreciate criticism.
Hate nothing,
But dislike what you want.
Never forget where you came from,
And always remember where you are going.
Live Life to its fullest,
And have a reason for everything,
Even if it’s totally insane.
Find Your purpose in life,
and Live it!