Julius Malema buys the new Automatic BMW X8 sport, He drives the Car perfectly well during the day, but at night the Car just won’t move at all. He tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck, He then furiously calls the BMW Dealers and they send out a technician to Him, the Technician asks “ Sir, are you sure you are using the right gears?” . Full of anger Malema replies “You fool, Fotsek Man, Aibo how you could ask such a question, am not stupid I use D for the Day and N for the Night”
Category: Uncategorized
Which Hairstyle Attracts Men Most? …. is this how desperate women have become? Crisis
A few weeks ago, we put to rest the great hair debate “do gentlemen really prefer blondes?” But this week, I tackled an entirely different hair dating dilemma.
If you checked out a bar scene on any given night, there are two hairstyles a single woman will be working. The first, is a head of I-just-had-sex hair. The hope is that a mane of tousled waves and sultry curls will lure a man from across the bar. The second option is much simpler: less-fussy straight locks. The rise of straightening products can attest to the popularity of a salon-worthy d-i-y blowout.
Try on celebrity hairstyles in the Makeover Studio
These two popular on-the-prowl hairstyles got me wondering: which one is more likely to land the man?
On two separate nights last weekend, I stopped by NYC’s Arrojo Studio and had one fantastic stylist, Rachel Downing, work my hair into the perfect version of each man-hunting hairstyle. In the end, one coif truly conquered all.
On Friday night, I rocked long, straight hair. After dousing my ends with Arrojo’s Hydrating Mist, which my stylist told me “gives hair a nice drink,” Rachel slathered my strands in the salon’s own Straightening Serum. After pulling my roots taught with her fingers (“a brush works better on the ends, but you can use your fingers to get at the roots better”), my stylist blew out the rest of my hair with a bristly medium-sized flat brush. The result was a voluminous, sleek hairstyle with tons of sex appeal.
When one of my best girlfriends decided it was a night for the Meatpacking District, I took my straight locks to an underground dive bar with great music and a weekly reserve of eligible men. While the evening started with promise (my first two drinks were bought by a group of guys at a birthday party) the night ended without a solid prospect. Halfway through my turn on the dance floor, my hair that was once straight and sleek had become unruly with kinks, and the volume deflated.
I had higher hopes the next day when my stylist, Rachel, greeted me with a thorough hair washing (complete with euphoric scalp massage) and luxe-looking round brush. After a dollop of the Arrojo Cutler Volumizing Styling Whip, she began wrapping my hair around the brush by the bundle, and blasting the swirls of hair with heat from a blow dryer. My hair looked worthy of a Kardashian without the touch of a curling iron. But when I told Rachel that my style would have to last through the night (my appointment was at 3 pm), she grabbed an oversized iron and began setting my curls without clamping the ends. “The best curls come without the clamp,” she told me. “They won’t be so tight.”
Is Facebook the reason you’re single?
My high-roller hair needed more room than a dive bar had to offer, so my friends agreed to hit a swanky uptown lounge. Within minutes there was a pack of guys descending on my posse. After a long conversation with Todd, a 6’1″cutie in head-to-toe black, I forced myself to cruise the bar for the good of the mission. It turned out Todd wasn’t the only man not impervious to my sultry waves. Besides nabbing a free drink from the bartender, who I didn’t see handing out freebees to anyone else thankyouverymuch, another collar-clad gent struck up a conversation. By the end of the night I had two new phone numbers, one potential date, way too many free drinks, and a new signature hairstyle.
Who am I …..
Wherever there is hurt there is a heart that heals,
Whenever there are tears,
There is my shoulder to drown them,
When a mean word is spoken,
My kind words will make it disappear,
When a tragedy occurs,
I will share my hope, my dreams, my smile,
Take the time to know I care and I will be there your pain to bear,
Take my hand, place it in yours
I will lead you far away from your internal wars,
While the world might seem shallow,
My love will remain deep
While your thoughts may be sad,
Let me show you that tomorrow they might not be as bad,
Whatever the reason for your frown,
I am here to lift you up when you are down,
Whatever the season,
Winter or fall,
Let me be the reason you do not stumble or fall,
Take the time to know I’m here,
You are my beloved the one I hold dear,
Take my heart, it’s yours to fill and in this place let your fears grow still,
Whoever says that time cannot heal,
Never had another to share their ordeal,
Whoever told you, you are alone,
Does not know my palm is your home,
Who am I, people may ask,
I am your Father your Helper, your friend,
One special day my Son I did send.
To take your sins, your grief, your strife, giving you Eternal Life.
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
- Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.” - As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
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