I loved writing this post. It is honest.It is me. It is real and right now, so applicable to this stage in my life.
I am not my looks, I am not my height or weight. I hold a depth and empathy, through my life’s’ experiences that cannot be explained. I am fun and crazy and ditzy and yet I am soft, caring and my heart can feel the pain of people or animals hurting – to the extent that I hurt. I am not great at staying in constant contact for feeble things, but if someone, anyone, needs me in an emergency or to just.. listen… I will meet them where they are, physically or emotionally. I am an ‘old soul’ I guess.
I am certainly far from perfect – stubborn as a mule and sensitive to the max.
But I am Me.
Note to reader: I’m 37, sitting with my princess – Mia, the Italian Greyhound – listening to Sawyer who has just won The Voice, singing ” A Thousand Years” sob sob and only just realised after some pretty serious relationships, that I have only ever loved one man my father and never truly been head over heels in love.So forgive me my cheese-ball moment. Feel free to laugh at or with me at any time. PS I am a die hard romantic… so in the hopes that this Knight – who is going to sweep me off my feet – exists and is roaming aimlessly on his trusty steed looking for me – I hope you find this message somewhere, somehow.
To the love of my life,
I don’t know you yet. I don’t know how we meet or where you live. I don’t know the names of your siblings or if you like listening to jazz or to alternative, or if your favorite kind of love is for an animal — the same as me. Perhaps we find each other organically, as I have often dreamed of.
Me, casually glancing at a bestseller and you, reaching to pick it up as we both peruse the same fiction stack – to take our minds off of the hum drum that is daily life. Or perhaps you’re fond of the outdoors and passed me at dusk riding along whilst I jog, when it’s quiet and thoughts turn like gears on a bike. I don’t yet know.
I want to. I want to know all these things and more. I want to know what you look like when you first wake up and the day’s demands have not yet set in.
I want to know what you love most in this world and for you to share it with me. I want to know what buttons I can push, how you’ll react when you’re edgy and where the line is drawn. I don’t yet know.
But what I do know is that I will treat you like I treat myself because your happiness is my happiness. And I do know that I won’t stop trying. Even when we’ve both found what it is we’re looking for in each other, I’ll keep surprising you.
I do know, regardless of where we are or who we become or what happens, I do know I plan to do my best to make you happy every day that we spend our lives together. And here’s how:
I’ll never make you feel inadequate
If you fail at something (which is to be expected), I won’t put you down or hold it against you. I’ll build you up so that you have the confidence to keep pursuing your ambitions. And when I find success in my own life, it won’t be because I have made you my competition.
Whether it’s as small as taking the time to learn a new recipe or as big as a career change, I’ll celebrate you and your achievements, and I’ll ease your losses. And I’ll always be proud of you for putting forth the effort.
I’ll love you with the same passion as when we first met
I promise I won’t take your touch for granted or forget to appreciate the small pleasures you give me.
Even if our lives become routine and we fall into a familiar pattern of sleep and waking, I will work to keep that spark in our relationship alive — the same one that sent chills through my body when we shared our first kiss in the park.
And though you will have good days and bad, and tempers flare and stress makes us behave in irrational ways, that won’t stop me from loving you to my full capacity.
I’ll learn new things and constantly grow alongside you
Paths change, and with each year that passes, we advance a little differently, becoming closer to the things we want out of life. No matter how much we evolve or how much we change, I’ll strive to make sure it’s with you.
What I learn and what I hope for will be in sync with what you need and what you want to discover. You’ll enlighten me with your vast intelligence, and I’ll enliven you with the richness of my stories. Even in the stillness of silence, we’ll forever be in constant connection.
I’ll inspire you
There is something incredibly special about falling in love with someone who makes you a better person. Let my achievements inspire you to find your own personal success.
My presence should be one that excites you and motivates you to go beyond your limitations. Every day I wish to be your muse and your fulfillment. The one who makes you realise how much you are capable of and how much you have to offer.
I’ll relieve your anxieties
Whatever wears on you or whatever obstacles you feel you can’t overcome, I’ll show you that you can on your own. I’ll do my best to attend to your needs without crippling you. When you feel like you can’t get away, I’ll be your escape.
We’ll get lost in our adventures together even if it’s in the comfort of our beds. I’ll be your imagination when you’re stuck inside your own head and I’ll be there to fall back on when you occasionally slip.
I’ll challenge you to your full potential
I won’t let you get away with mediocrity or doing the bare minimum. You might temporarily hate me for pushing you too hard, but I have your best interests at heart — and deep down you know that too.
I’ll care about you enough to be upfront and honest even when the truth is harsh and sometimes hurts.
And even though we might bruise, we’ll also heal. Challenges are what make us stronger in the end. Our relationship may not be as easy or as carefree as we thought, but neither of us has ever really wanted to coast.
We’re drawn to the risk, we’re drawn to the dare and, most importantly, we’re drawn to each other.
So until then. I pray that God keeps you safe and that you have amassed a fortune of homeless hounds for me to babysit.
I cannot wait to meet you,