This post is so applicable as I turn 31 tomorrow and have realised that I am soooo over the surface level conversations people strike up, well, I guess ALL the time! 

I Hate Small Talk  

‘Hello, Ma’am. How are you today?” asks the caller, whose name appears on my call display as “unavailable”.  The hairs at the back of my neck point north as I kick myself for answering, thus defeating the purpose of having call display. How am I? she asks – as if she cares two hoots. Whose bright idea was it to instruct telemarketers to inquire after our well-being? “I’m Fine” I say dismissively, leaving an uncomfortable silence where the  “ … and how are you?”  would normally go.  As she proceeds to recite her telemarketing lines I interrupt with an annoyed “No thank you” and move to replace the receiver … but not before I hear her disembodied voice politely telling me to ‘have a nice day’.

How am I?  Have a nice day? When did these phrases seep into our communication with absolute strangers?

I hate small talk. I’m not good at it – which can be a bit of a problem, since it follows us everywhere.  Being out and about in the world requires that we engage in chit-chat with sundry people we encounter along the way … fleeting exchanges about nothing in particular. By it’s very definition, small talk involves conversation about matters of unimportance. It is society’s ice-breaker … a filler of empty pockets of time.

And oh! empty pockets of time abound!  We ride the elevator with strangers and comment on the beautiful (or terrible!) weather we are having.  Or we sit in a doctor’s  waiting room, flipping through outdated, tattered magazines, and  exchange ‘pleasantries’ (inaptly named, if you ask me).  The opportunities are endless!  Line-ups … restaurants … public washrooms …  water coolers … airplanes …,  and hair stylists,  to name a few.

But nowhere is small talk more painful for me than at cocktail parties, where it is  incumbent upon guests to “mingle”.  Oh how I hate that word – it reeks of ‘Oh Dahling!!  I wander around, looking for someone to momentarily imprison with my attempt at trivial chit-chat -  people I  have probably never met before,  or will ever meet again.  I watch others moving about with apparent ease – even enjoyment –  while I am trying to figure out why my watch  has stopped!

‘What is wrong with me?’ I ask myself, for the umpteenth time. I am neither shy nor I  socially phobic. I simply find small talk empty and meaningless.

So here I am,   65 years of age, still scratching my head in bewilderment, with no relief in sight.

Until, by some stroke of luck, I stumbled upon the answer in  a lecture I found online entitled “The Power of Introverts”. I have never regarded myself as an introvert, because when I’m with people I know, I am talkative and outgoing.  But as I watched and listened, I was mesmerized  by the speaker’s description of the characteristics of the introvert.  It was an accurate description of me!

There it was – the answer that had eluded me for so long – a simple explanation that made absolute sense, obliterating my lifelong conviction that there was something wrong with me.

What does it mean, exactly, to be an introvert?  It means that being alone energizes me, while spending too much time around people drains my energy.  It means that I focus on  my inner world, rather than the outer world, and that I thrive on solitude, where I can recharge my batteries and pursue my creative interests – which, no surprise – are solitary ones.  It means that I am introspective, and love deep conversations,  skipping the superficial and engaging in discussions about matters of  substance.

And – wouldn’t you know it – introverts dislike small talk!!

And there is more.  Introverts are often creative, observant and insightful, have good leadership skills and are good listeners.

So!  Much to my intense relief – not only is there nothing wrong with me – there is actually something right with me!

Next time a telemarketer calls and asks how I am,  I might answer “Well – let me tell you about my day …”   and when she finds a way to escape this lunacy I will be sure to tell her to have a nice day!

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The more hurt and pain you have gone thru in life, the stronger and more
beautiful your heart will be….. As someone who has never been in love and tends to push people away before I get the chance, I guess I need to learn to let go to discover my beautiful heart.

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, “Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces missing.

The people stared. How can he say his heart is more beautiful?? they thought. The young man looked at the old man’s heart and saw its state and laughed. “You must be joking,” he said. “Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love – I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges – giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?”

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.

The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man’s heart flowed into his.

They embraced and walked away side by side.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

Audrey Hepburn

Your mother is always with you… 
She’s the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street. 
She’s the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks. 
She’s the cool hand on your brow
when you’re not well. 
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s crystallized in every tear drop. 
She’s the place you came from,
your first home…
She’s the map you follow
with every step that you take. 
She’s your first love
and your first heart break…
and nothing on earth can separate you. 
Not time, Not space…
Not even death…
will ever separate you
from your mother… 
You carry her inside of you… 

Mom You’ve given me so much all the love from your heart
and the warmth of your touch.he gift of life and you’re friendship always
We have a very Special Bond which only comes from God…
As a child I would say Mommy I love you and today and always,with each and every new year,If I could had chosen,I would have picked no other.
Than for you…to be my lifelong friend and Precious Mother.. your strength of character, moral values and never ending selflessness are qualities I aspire to each day!

Some people glow from the inside out! That is you my mumsy. Ever and more externally beautiful but with a soul and heart that is to magnificent to describe in words.

Love Becky

Who knew that we would be able to combine both of our passions: our love of music & our love of dogs?
At the age of 19 we embarked on a musical career that would take us all over the world. After enjoying international success we returned home to Canada and began a journey that would truly fulfill our heart’s desire.
Endless touring often left us in a predicament where we were unable to find a place to leave our dogs. Getting to know us means getting to know that dogs are as close to our hearts as music is to our souls.

So – five years ago we began a different adventure. We decided to open Camp Cookstown, the world’s finest vacation destination … an open concept boarding camp for your dog.

We are dog lovers through and through. Our dogs are allowed to kiss our faces and eat off our plates. We would never let them sleep outside in the cold. Our dogs sleep inside, away from the dangers that lurk at night. We believe that a happy dog is one that feels safe and secure, and has the freedom to enjoy the great outdoors with friends.

Out of this devotion to our dogs began the concept of Camp Cookstown, the place where you – dog lovers like us – can bring your dog for day camp, or feel safe when you’re on vacation, leaving your dog with us overnight. Our dedicated staff will ensure that your dog is entertained and kept healthy and active. Your dog will be safe and warm in our brand new state of the art heated/air-conditioned cozy country barn. With over 45 acres of rolling country farmland, your dog gets to socialize, play and just have fun with other dogs – all of whom have been assessed and found to have the kind of temperament that matches your dog’s. Friendships will be forged for life!
We leave for Vegas in a few days to sing with Shania at The Coliseum in Caesars Palace and as we get on that stage, we will be secure in the knowledge that our dogs are safe, happy and perhaps, to our dismay, not even missing us.
RyanDan

P.S Please support us by liking our Facebook Page Here & Following us on Twitter Here
- See more at: http://campcookstown.com/

My Nephew is going to be a ballet dancer or rugby player! Love Cole Campbell Darne.

Yes I am obsessed with the cutest child ever!

Cole Campbell Darne’, cutest nephew in the whole wide world… *broody much* giggling for his Glammy, Denise and Grandpa, Paul Bayvel

Hey most wonderful girl.. My darling Debs,

I’ve told you that I love you, right? I know I have, but I just HAVE to tell you again! I will LOVE you FOREVER to the moon and back and back again! But guess JUST how much I love you! I’ll bet you can’t guess! I love you so much that I want to do good to you forever! I will do everything in my power to encourage you and help you in all your difficulties! You know that knack I have in knowing exactly when you’re sad? Well, I will always do everything in my power to comfort you.

my special sis, I am always here for you. Always! When you hurt more than you have before, I AM here. I will let you cry on me, and I will wipe your tears away. I will NEVER let you down. Do you hear me? Everyone else in this world will let you down. They can’t help it. But I solemnly swear to you, that I will never let you down. And you know all those troubled friendships you’ve had? Well, guess what? I will never hurt you like that. I will never desert you. I will ALWAYS protect you. You can count on that. Sisters woven together with the tightest twine… Never ever too fray.

Baby girl, don’t ever worry about times where you hurt me if you are sad… Honestly! I know you’re sorry! And I will never hold a grudge against you! Never! In fact, it’s all behind us…I’ve forgotten about them already. Well I guess that’s why we refer to me as Dori huh?

You know how you were complaining about how ugly you felt yesterday? Guess what? You were so beautiful yesterday, today and you will be again tomorrow! No, honestly, I mean it. You were BORN beautiful! When you show that devoted love and servant’s heart to others, you make me the proudest sister alive. I can’t stop loving you! Do you know what I love seeing you wear? Your beautiful smile! That perky, cheerful attitude! That look of compassion you get when you help someone. And I have to say, that smile when you talk about me…I love it, to have a sister as proud of me as you are is priceless! And you DID say that it doesn’t matter what others think…it’s only what I think that matters to you. Right? Well, then, what I think is that you’re beautiful! Believe it! You want to know something else that I love about you? I LOVE it when you talk to me! I know you think you can talk too much, but honestly, you could never say too much to me! You can never talk my ear off! I love it when you tell me everything! No, really, EVERYTHING. I’m interested in what interests you. I care about what bothers you. I want you to tell me anything, even if you think I know it. If it helps for you to tell me, then just spill it out!

You know how you’re worried about doing all that stuff tomorrow…I know how nervous it makes for you to try new stuff, and go outside of your comfort zone…but guess what? I’ll help you! I’ll come with you and I’ll help you get through it! With my help, I know we can do it! Ps you have the talent I will just showcase it.

I love you to pieces! I love you to the infinity endless times! I love you more than anyone else can love you! I shall TREASURE you forever. You are so special and precious to me. You cannot begin to imagine how happy it makes me for me to be able to say that YOU are MY best friend and sister!

And that is how much I love you, dearest girl!
With love forever and always,
Becky

Turning 31 in exactly a month so time to investigate the “cougar phenomenon” according to a few ummm male friends….lucky for me I still have 4 or so years to until I qualify as a fully fledged sugar momma as I do still appreciate the finer, aged and more experienced things in life.

Still found this interesting. So share with all those ladies you know who think they have passed their sell by date… Apparently they just need to add a few younger ingredients to extend it. Read and enjoy

Question: What is a cougar?
The short answer: A cougar is an older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with with significantly younger men.
Answer: The most commonly-accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men. The onset of the cougar years is hotly debated. Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but women of this age would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual conquests were no older than 25; the ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners.
Typically, cougars prey upon men almost young enough to be their sons. Thus fortysomething cougars would be attracted to men in their 20s, and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in their 30s and so on. Some cougars are less interested in a relationship than a sexual conquest, perhaps enjoying the fact that they are physically appealing to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility.

A cougar may be married or unmarried, and some even go after their daughters’ boyfriends.

Although the term ‘cougar’ comes from the big-game predatory cat of the same name, the cougar connection also may allude to the wearing of animal print clothing by older and more sexually aggressive women.

An early example of the cougar phenomenon was seen in the groundbreaking film The Graduate, in which middle-aged Mrs. Robinson (Ann Bancroft) seduces fresh-out-of-college Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman).

Real-life cougar relationships include Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (15 years), Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (12 years), and Barbara Hershey and Naveen Andrews (21 years).